When I first walked away from years of voting Democrat and being atheist, I was desperate for voices to speak to the unexpected and organic transformation I was undergoing. One of the first voices I found was a Christian podcaster and commentator who espouses the goal of a great reconciliation between men and women, the ending of the seemingly never-ending battle of the sexes. His voice and mission resonated with me as I stepped away from the incoherence of liberalism and back toward God. It made sense to me that the answers we seek wouldnt be found in pointing fingers at the opposite gender, yet I rather quickly found that all too often even among the Christian conservative right and especially online that's precisely what we do. This podcasters proposed great reconciliation between men and women both of us working together to do our part to lay down arms and heal generations-old battle scars truly seemed a breath of fresh air. So, you can imagine my surprise when several months later I read a post from him claiming women who are unmarried and childless past age 30 have lived in willful rebellion against Gods design. Leaving aside the fact that, by all accounts, he himself is in his 40s, unmarried, and childless, this is a perversion of Gods word to us one that we see too frequently among the recent resurgence of "trad" accounts run by people (often Christians) who believe in traditional values, masculine men, feminine women, and who rail against the degeneracy of the modern West. CATHOLICISM SEES MAJOR RESURGENCE AMONG GEN Z, WITH YOUNG MEN LEADING THE REVIVALThese are all aspirational ideals and perhaps a much-needed balm in the backwards chaos of the modern era, an era in which no small number of people (including a sitting Supreme Court justice) stumble incoherently when asked, "what is a woman?", an era in which even those brave enough and sane enough to define "woman" biologically often have a challenging time articulating what a woman is spiritually and how her role in the home and in the world might be fundamentally different from a mans. In such a state of confusion, with men and women seemingly all but interchangeable, with birth and marriage rates plummeting, and divorce and suicide rates rising, its no wonder theres a growing sect of people who yearn to revolt against the modern world. I myself would identify as a woman with traditional values, and although Im not yet homesteading on a farm knee-deep in toddlers and sourdough starter I strive to be a feminine woman. Theres nothing wrong with traditionalism or with exalting families or worrying about the declining birth rates in the West. But traditionalism without God is dead. And far too often in the "trad" circle, traditionalism supersedes God.AMERICA IS REDISCOVERING ITS SOUL AND REVIVING THE SACREDThere is nothing in the Bible suggesting singleness is a scourge, a necessarily transitory state, or something you must suffer through in order to get to the "real gift" of marriage. In Gods eyes, singleness is not a second-class state even for a woman, even past 30. According to Paul (a man with a horrible past who went on to become one of the greatest examples of Christianity and incidentally remained single), singleness is a gift. As he points out in 1 Corinthians 7, its better to remain single if you can commit to celibacy. Most people cannot or will not commit themselves to thisand marriage is also good for those people. But singleness (meaning, in this case, the state of being both unmarried and celibate) is no less good. Paul goes on to call men with wives to "live as though they had none" (1 Corinthians 7:29), which isnt an encouragement to neglect ones spouse but rather to focus oneself on Jesus in the same manner that a single person can. Unmarried people are able to devote themselves wholly to God. There is no spouse or children demanding their time. Spouses and children are good and obligations to themapproached correctlycan sanctify you and bring you closer to God. But so too can singleness. BIBLICAL FORMULA FOR CHOOSING SPOUSE OFFERS LESSONS THAT MODERN DATING OVERLOOKSAs John Piper points out in a sermon titled, "Single in Christ; A Name Better than Sons and Daughters," "single people in Christ have zero disadvantage in bearing children for God, and may in some ways have a great advantage." Single people often have more time, money, and other resources to devote to advancing Gods kingdom on earth. Married people with families necessarily put their time and resources to the family. Single people or "those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of Heaven" are good in Jesus eyes (Matthew 19:11-12). He promises them "a memorial and a name better than sons and daughters; [He] will give them an everlasting name that will endure forever" (Isaiah 56:4-5).Indeed, throughout the gospel, Jesus who came to establish a family of believers emphasizes spiritual family over biological. When a woman exclaims that Jesus mother is blessed for bearing him, he responds that those who hear God and obey are more blessed (Luke 11:27-28). Motherhood sanctifies, but women who cannot or will not be biological mothers are no less sanctified; likewise for women who may never be wives.Just look at C.S. Lewis Sarah Smith in "The Great Divorce:" "Every young man or boy that met her became her son Every girl that met her was her daughter. Her motherhood was of a different kind. Those on whom it fell went back to their natural parents loving them more."Clearly, spiritual parenthood is not reserved only for a blessed few or only for women under 30. Not all of us will be married by a certain age or at all, but all of us are called to be spiritual mothers and fathers. That can be done in singleness. That can be done by choosing Christ right where we are now, for whether or not anyone else ever chooses us the one who matters most already has.CHILDREN'S AUTHOR SAYS HIS FAITH-BASED BOOKS ARE A WAY TO FIGHT THE CULTURE WAR: 'KIDS ARE ON THE FRONTLINE'Oftentimes, well-meaning folks will point to Genesis 2:18 and the fact that its "not good for man to be alone" as if thats condemnation of singleness. Its true that God gave Adam his Eve, when he saw that he was lonely. Its also true that God sent Jesus no wife, and that was also good. Jesusthe new Adam and the perfect man, the Son of God knows firsthand the full gamut of human emotions and is no stranger to loneliness, and yet he never had a wife. It is possible for us too to know deep and profound loneliness and perhaps never get married or get married much later. Its also worth noting that God gave Eve to Adam in marriage before sin entered the world which isnt to say that marriage after the fall is sinful but rather that the world after the fall is sinful, and in our fallen state, not everyone will find a suitable spouse before the age of thirty or ever. Perhaps most significant of all: if youre saved, you have the Holy Spirit dwelling in you and so, while you may feel at times desperately lonely, you are never truly alone (John 14:16).CLICK HERE FOR MORE FOX NEWS OPINIONNone of the above is meant to excuse being single due to vanity, pride or worldly desires. If youre unmarried because youve been putting yourself first and not God, thats not good, and its probably not blessed. But only you and the Lord know if thats the cause for your situation; random men on X (formerly Twitter) who are unmarried themselves dont and frankly, theyd do well to account for their own singleness before accounting for others. Im not dismissing very valid concerns over declining marriage and family rates. Particularly here in the states, strong families are foundational to our freedom and American way of life. This is a crisis not to be ignored. But nor are we to remove God from the crisis. We are not to pass judgment when we have planks in our own eyes. We are not to pretend we know better than him or to add addendums to his unchanging word. We are not to add arbitrary, secular cut-offs of 30 years when no such specifications exist in the Bible, nor are we to scapegoat women for all our problems when Gods command for marriage and for sex is the same for men and women both. The world may go easier on unmarried, promiscuous men. God does not. And biological realities exist, of course, and theyre different for women than they are men. But theres a difference between acknowledging biological realities and putting words in Gods mouth. Singleness isnt a curse, a sin, or a failure. In the eyes of the world, it might be especially for women. But not in the eyes of God.If were ever to right this sinking ship in which we find ourselves all jostled about, itll be by pointing to God instead of pointing fingers at each other. Marriage is good. But its not required for repentance, salvation or to be in obedience to him. And the only real and lasting marriage is the one we find in him.